Let's stop trying to turn girls into probationary sexpots

The Melbourne Age, 23 June 2008
I've just learnt to be an A+ kisser. I'm also totally in the know about hooking up, performing oral sex (with or without braces) and girl-on-girl pashing. I've read the sealed section too and know that 58% of readers lost their virginity between age 10 and 15. This, I guess, means I'm either hot — or not. As for rehab, that's a bit like staying in a really posh hotel isn't it? What would I do without Dolly magazine? more...

The pressure is on for our girls to grow up quickly and magazines like Dolly are leading the push. If you've not read these magazines its worth getting hold of a copy to see for yourself the messages - subtle and not so subtle - that are being fed to our young people. We may not be able to stop them reading them but we can raise the issues with them and present a different viewpoint, teaching discernment. Perhaps we also have a role in educating parents of our young people as to the harmful influences these magazines present. See also our earlier blog post for more comment.

Wanted: Men for mentoring scheme

NZ Herald, 25 June 2008
New Zealand's biggest youth mentoring programme, Project K, is running out of men. The programme, founded in 1995 by mountaineer Graeme Dingle and his partner Jo-anne Wilkinson, attracted only one man to its last mentor training course in Auckland. Nationally, it had to use women to mentor 44 of its 174 male students last year as well as all 122 female students, even though it aims to match men with boys and women with girls. more...

What a great opportunity to be involved in young people's lives. Any takers? For more information see the Project K website.

Youth ministry's seven biggest words

by Jeanne Mayo, Simply Youth Ministry
I just slipped away from our church gym to finish this column. I wish you could be with me for the experience. Our youth group is sponsoring our “first ever dodge ball tournament”…complete with enough energy and testosterone to make you think that you were at the NBA playoffs! ... What’s my role in the competition? ... I’m living out youth ministry’s seven biggest words; and I’ve learned a long time ago that this principle is a simple one that you cannot violate if you want to experience effective youth ministry. more...

Click the link to find out what these seven words are and to read of some very practical things you can do to put these words into practice.

Two words that can kill your youth ministry

by Mark deVries, Simply Youth Ministry
College Street Church* had just hired Jack,* their new youth worker. And because he came to them with limited experience, the church provided him a year of youth ministry coaching. Our first conversation was positive enough. But after our second visit, I had quickly learned Jack’s favorite two words: “I know.” Curiously, each “I know” was promptly followed by his failing to put into action the very principles we believed he already knew. Within 6 months, Jack was moving on. His two-word mantra just didn’t work. It didn’t work with parents, with volunteers, and it especially didn’t work with his boss. more...

The writer gives some excellent tips on how to last in youth ministry by eradicating what he calls "unconscious ignorance".

Why We Need To Go To Church (Part Two)

by Steve Case, Youth Specialties
The funniest joke in the world isn't funny at all if you don't have someone to tell it to. Part of going to church is the sharing of our lives. We pray for each other. We lift each other up. The concerns of our lives weigh down on us like an iron harness. We put one of these on and then are asked to go swimming. Being a part of a church means there are others there to help lift you up, help hold you study while you pull the harness off and hand it to God. Likewise you are there to hold up the next person, to "bear each other's burdens" as the scriptures teach us. more...

A continuation of an earlier article that gives good reasons for going to church.

Harm minimisation: just say no

Sydney Morning Herald, 19 June 2008
Three weeks ago, on May 27, Tony and Angela Wood went to a Chinese restaurant to mark what would have been their daughter Anna's 28th birthday, had she lived. As they do each year, they ordered her favourite meal, Peking duck, and remembered the 15-year-old girl who died in 1995 after taking ecstasy for the first time. But while her parents have been touring schools and spreading the message that illegal drug use is never safe, Anna Wood was being co-opted without their permission as a poster girl of the drug harm-minimisation lobby, which has shaped debate about drug use in Australia for 25 years - but is losing credibility as contrary evidence piles up. more...

The messages received by our young people in relation to drug use are not simply "yes" or "no". There is a line of thought that says our young people will likely experiment with drugs so let's keep the impact to a minimum. The article helps us understand this line of thinking - something which is useful if we are to counter it in the minds of our young people.

Missing both ends

by Chuck Bomar, Simply Youth Ministry
"Tension" is probably a good word to use for the adolescent stage of life. Typically the parent tries to keep his child in childhood, while the child pushes toward adulthood. Although approached with immaturity, adolescents want to think and act in ways that are adult-like. On this side of parenthood, I understand both sides. However, it's one thing to find the balance as a parent or fight for it as a child, but how do we address this as youth workers? more...

The author points out that adolescence covers more than the high school years and makes suggestions as to how best to minister to preteens in the 10-12 age group and the 18 plus age group.

How to break the babysitter syndrome

by Mark deVries, Simply Youth Ministry
“This church doesn’t want a youth minister; they want a babysitter!” More than once, these words have fallen from my lips. And though we may say it differently, with words like, “All these people care about is increasing their kids’ SAT scores and helping them be lacrosse team captains,” “The last thing that church wants is a youth ministry that makes disciples,” the predictable complaint is the same: “This church wants a babysitter!” more...

Ever feel like this - that people expect you to be a babysitter? Is it possible we are part of the problem? In this article the author offers what he calls: "A Sure-Fire Formula for Keeping Your Church Stuck in a Babysitter Mentality."

When you have to be the bad guy

by Jeanne Mayo, Simply Youth Ministry
OK, I guess it’s just an unavoidable part of being in youth ministry. Most all the great suspense and adventure movies have one, so why shouldn’t youth ministry? What am I talking about? I’m referencing the occasional, not-so-fun role of being the “bad guy.” It’s a pretty raw topic for me right now because less than 24 hours ago, I found myself filling that role in a king-sized way. You see, I had to kick a student out of a year-long discipleship program which our youth ministry directs. Believe me, it was not one of my happiest ministry moments. Yet, I knew it was right. more...

The author gives some great practical suggestions on how to handle those situations where we must discipline.

Girls drinking themselves sick

Sydney Morning Herald, 10 June 2008
The number of young women hospitalised after binge drinking has doubled in less than a decade, a new study shows. The report, to be published in the Australian And New Zealand Journal Of Public Health today, suggested there was an immediate need for public health interventions such as increased alcohol taxation. It found the rate of alcohol-induced hospital admissions for Victorian males and females aged between 16 and 24 had increased substantially over eight years. more...

There are some useful statistics to be found in this article along with suggestions for curbing alcohol consumption. While higher taxes and reduced advertising may have some effect, what needs to occur is for binge drinking to become as socially unacceptable as smoking and that is a lot harder to achieve.

Virginity pledges help some delay sex - US study

stuff.co.nz, 11 June 2008
Taking a pledge to remain a virgin until married may help some teens and young adults in delaying the start of sexual activity, US researchers reported. A study by the Rand Corporation research institute found that 34 per cent of youths who took such pledges as teens had had sexual intercourse within three years compared to 42 per cent of similar teens who did not make virginity pledges. The Rand team said they had taken into account differences such as religious beliefs, parenting and friendship characteristics. more...

An interesting result as other studies have said there is little difference. Whatever way you look at it virginity pledges are not the whole answer. Ongoing discussion that helps young people truly own moral convictions for themselves along with assistance in developing a real relationship with Christ in which they strengthened by His Spirit is of greater value. The former has a tendency to build a fence around the young person while the latter seeks to build resistance from within.

Why we need to go to church (Part one)

by Steve Case, Youth Specialties
I sat in my office with three students on my couch and one on the spare chair. I had been up this particular Sunday morning since 6:00 because I had so much to do before the service began. It was between the services now and I was going to be assisting with communion in the second service. I was teaching confirmation at noon and still had a few more things to plan before the evening youth group meeting. Just a few short hours ago I was warm in my bed, my hand still on the alarm clock where I punched the "quit that" button. I lay there and listened to the rain and thunder outside and knew a round of kickball that evening was out. Now I sat in my office with my nose buried in a cup of Starbucks, trying to inhale every last bit of caffeine from the sides of the cup. My students are yammering and one of them said, "I don't need to come to church to be religious. I'm spiritual. I don't know why my parents make me come." She turned and looked at me and said, "Would you be here if you didn't HAVE to be here?" more...

So what would you say? Or what do you say when your young people question the need for them to go to church? In part one the writer gives some great reasons for us to consider and pass on.

Online assault

The Melbourne Age, 2 June 2008
What happened to Megan Meier was every parent's worst nightmare. Two years ago, the 13-year-old US student met 16- year-old "Josh" on social networking website MySpace. They developed an online friendship that soon turned sexual. Over the course of a few weeks, Josh flirted with Megan, telling her by email that she was "sexy". But it wasn't long before his mood changed and he became increasingly abusive. Josh told Megan that the world would be a better place without her and eventually he cut off the friendship. Megan committed suicide soon after. more...

This much publicised case serves as an introduction to this article about the problems of cyber bullying and the various forms it takes. It talks of the difficulties young people face in reporting it (being further bullied or having their parents take away access to technology). We as youth workers have an important role to play as "safe" people whom they can report bullying too and seek comfort and support.

Now what should I teach

by Brian Berry, Simply Youth Ministry
How do you choose what to teach in your youth ministry? In some circles, it’s a heavily defended and debated process. Some say you should teach verse by verse through the Bible so you teach the whole counsel of the Word of God. Others claim that good teaching understands its audience first and then seeks to help them understand the Scriptures, often implementing a more topical method of teaching. Still others are tied to the traditions of their church or denomination, and find security in teaching not what they feel is right, but rather what a larger body of believers throughout church history has said is best, teaching the next message or text in their church lectern. more...

The writer talk of two approaches to curriculun - the "felt need" and "spirit led" approach and how he alternates between them - worth a thought.

Myth buster

The Melbourne Age, 29 May 2008
A new book challenges the idea that games make children antisocial, says Jason Hill. The release of Grand Theft Auto IV has triggered concern from video game critics worried about the impact of violent games on children, despite its adults-only rating in most countries. There is still a lack of research on the impact of interactive games on players, so public health researcher Cheryl Olson set out to examine whether popular assumptions that link violent behaviour to violent games have any basis. more...

The research looks at reasons why young people (and not just boys) like violent games and suggests strageties parents (and to some extent youth workers) can use. The researchers came up with mixed results that "surprised, encouraged and sometimes disturbed" them. Check out the article based on their findings and perhaps forward it on to parents.

Cannabis shrinks brain volume: study

Sydney Morning Herald, 4 June 2008
Heavy marijuana use over many years appears to shrink parts of the brain that control emotion and memory, an Australian study shows. Brain scans on 15 men who smoked at least five joints a day for more than a decade show for the first time that they have structural brain abnormalities not seen in non-smokers. The researchers from the University of Melbourne say their findings should settle the historic controversy over the long-term effects of cannabis use with solid proof of the damage it causes. more...

There is some further valuable information here to use when talking with young people about the dangers of marijuana use.

Learning to lift their game

NZ Herald, 31 May 2008
It's a cold and wet night in the Far North, where two boys are struggling to hold a telegraph pole above their heads as they run through mud, up and down hills, over and over again. One has convictions for assault, the other for burglary and both are on "night PT" (physical training) - two gruelling hours of exercises after collecting three "strikes" for their indiscretions, including a punch-up between themselves during day three of the Male Youth New Direction (New Directions) programme. more...

What comes through clearly in the programme is the need to set boundaries and to have young people face up to the consequences of their actions when boundaries are crossed. While the young people involved in this programme are more "extreme" then those most of us deal with the principle is the same: young people benefit from clear guidelines and consequences. Do we maintain these two essentials in our programmes and in our dealings with young people? Or do we let them get away with misbehaviour in the hope they will keep liking us?